why I feel this way.

But I’m not alone. For some reason, it seems everyone’s going through this patch as well, or at least the ones around me are.

I was chatting with Huda on msn earlier, and yeah, like what I said, we like to idolize the concept of love, but do we actually love freely? Most of us don’t.

but hey, politics are  retarded, we should all just walk around naked.

I hear and I forget, I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

The language of friendship is not words but meanings.

An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.

The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.

He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat.

Happiness depends upon ourselves.

The young are permanently in a state resembling intoxication.

Wicked men obey from fear; good men, from love.

There is no great genius without a mixture of madness.

We are what we repeatedly do.

Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.

On a more emo serious note, I’ve been feeling uneasy recently. Its sort of an unreasonable feeling but sort of reasonable at the same time.

I feel like something I had before is disappearing and I’m trying to get it back somehow, but failing. But part of that is unreasonable too. I confuse myself. After 18 years i still don’t understand my own emotions. I think I’m still way too insecure for my own sake.

all in all, I don’t know. I guess it’s times like these, where you just have to live. If you know what I mean.

I’m okay.

Other news, FMSA camp was fun. Funny stuff i swear.

Ah, there’s nothing much for me to blog about. Actually there is, camp and all, but I’m too lazy. hurhur.

School tomorrow at 9….. Death.

No education, no training, no school, no learning, no books, no library, no science, no technology, no pens, no paper.

No currency, no bartering, no buying, no selling, no begging, no giving, no purses, no wallets.

No human rights, no liberty, no courts, no judges, no laws, no attorneys.

No communications, no public transportation, no private transportation, no traveling, no mailing, no inviting, no visiting, no faxes, no telephones.

No social gatherings, no chitchatting, no jokes, no laughter, no music, no dancing.

No romance, no flirting, no fornication, no dating, no wet dreaming, no masturbating, no naked sleepers, no bathers, no nakedness in showers, no love songs, no love letters, no affection.

No marrying, no divorcing, no marital conflicts, no fighting, no profanity, no cursing.

No shoes, no sandals, no toothbrushes, no razors, no combs, no mirrors, no lotion, no makeup, no long hair, no braids, no jewelry.

No soap, no detergent, no shampoo, no knitting, no embroidering, no colored clothes except black, no styles except pajamas, no wine, no palm sap hooch, no lighters, no cigarettes.

No morning coffee, no afternoon tea, no snacks, no desserts, no breakfast (sometimes no dinner).

No mercy, no forgiveness, no regret, no remorse, no second chances, no excuses, no complaints, no grievances, no help, no favors.

No eyeglasses, no dental treatment, no vaccines, no medicines, no hospitals, no doctors, no disabilities, no social disorders, no tuberculosis, no leprosy.

No kites, no marbles, no rubber bands, no cookies, no popsicles, no candy, no playing, no toys, no lullabies.

No rest, no vacations, no holidays, no weekends, no games, no sports, no staying up late, no newspapers.

No radio, no TV, no drawing, no painting, no pets, no pictures, no electricity, no lamp oil, no clocks, no watches.

No hope, no life.

A third of the people didn’t survive, the regime died.

That was a poem written by Sarith Pou, a cambodian dude, about the Cambodian civil war. Cruel stuff.

Anyways I’m back from my 2 week trip to Cambodia. I have to say that the trip was way more pampered that it was in Vietnam. We stayed in hotels, ate in restaurants, went out to buy stuff at night, went shopping loads, slack. But yeah, it was fun. Getting to know some of the orphans was cool, there was a cut little dog named ‘baby’ there. I swear its so adorable.

Besides all that, I guess on this trip I learnt more about myself than anything else. That’s probably because I’ve already been on another YEP so I’ve learnt whatever i learnt previously, previously.

but yeah, I’m back. Last 2 weeks of the holidays, oh boy.

My duffel bag is almost fully packed, just for some minor last minute stuff that I still haven’t shoved in. Hohoho, lets gooooooooo

So, what will I do for my last day here? Eat at the army market hawker center, awesome food. Collect Pay, awesome moneys. Sleep, awesome sleep. Then its off to the airport. Woo!

I want a window seat

goodie goodie. Oh gosh, 1 day till Cambodia day and I still haven’t packed started packing. Death. I’ll rush tomorrow. Hahahahaha

I just got back from work too, shot another series of Tamil plays. My eyes are strained and my wrist hurts, I guess I’m weak. Oh well.

Some old dude watching the play

Yeah, I’ve actually been enjoying my holidays. Though I have been working here and there, earning quick monnaays. Helped out for ‘The forest spirits’ as a live sound recordist and I’m also photographing another round of plays from the Tamil production company that I shot for before though this time I’m being paid. Awesome. hahahaha but those are just the projects I’m being paid for. I’ve had other interesting opportunities too.

I got to attend the Singapore Idol top 13 press conference as a cameraman/video-man for Matthew (www.matt.sg) which is a win-win situation. Exposure to a ‘professional’ press conference and, at the same time, I got to meet the faces that I’ve seen on TV. Hahahahaha they’re actually pretty nice people in person, kinda changes your opinion about them as people as compared to if you just judged them right off your TV set.

Right. Well I’d better go get some sleep. Long day ahead. Till next time!